A college batchmate of mine passed recently. Freak bike accident. I heard the news by a friend of mine who was a classmate of his.
Today, I got an email from my college informing all alumni of the tragedy. I never had the opportunity to interact with him, and yet, seeing a photo of his in that email, a photo that may very well have been from our first year of college, stirred something inexplicable within me. After all, I’ve not shared an experience with him. I can scarcely remember his voice, his social circle, his general demeanour.
And yet, seeing someone I could have had memories with having their flame snuffed out so quickly just… hit me rather unexpectedly. My college wasn’t known for having a large student body, at least when I was studying there. You knew each face if you chose to see those around you. You knew what they studied, who knew them. You get the gist. My fellow students weren’t faceless. Perhaps growing up together within the same confines leads to an unseen bond between you. It doesn’t matter if you’re best friends or ignorant of the other’s presence, the bond remains, sure as the ground beneath your feet.
In a year(s) of unprecedented loss experienced globally, why do some deaths pierce the numbess, when thousands of others couldn’t? The answer should be simple enough, shouldn’t it? You’re of course going to be more affected losing someone close to you, someone you cared about, someone who only wished well of you. Certain people mold your personality over the years. Losing them means your personality won’t ever be molded by their hands again. They’ll leave a very noticeable void behind.
And yet… I firmly believe that anybody you interact with shapes your personality. It’s not always your family and close friends who make you who you are. Sometimes it could be a complete stranger who changes your outlook on life, too. Someone you only met once and likely will never see again can make you a better person than someone you’ve grown up with.
We’ve almost become accustomed to hearing about news like this regularly. A while back a colleague of mine asked me how I was holding up. I told him about someone I’d lost back then, and his response back then really hit me. He told me that everyone has, he’d have been surprised if I didn’t know anyone. Stuff like that really puts things into perspective, you know? It was a single line and yet it made me empathize so much more with… what so many of us were going through.
A rather significant amount of people have become desensitized to the victims of the pandemic, and who can blame them? Sometimes you need to, to take care of your life and your loved ones. Others feel the pain for everyone; I believe they possess the strength of the world in their hearts.
A part of me was almost… hesitant in writing this piece, because… some emotions are best left undescribed. Some things are too intimate, too private to write about.
You’ll notice I left my earlier question hanging.
I don’t have an answer. I think it differs greatly from person to person. It don’t possess the capability to put something like that into words.
That question is for you, dear reader. Perhaps you’ll come up with an answer that’ll satisfy you.
