If you’ve been paying attention to what I’ve been writing about lately, you’ll realize that the uncertainty surrounding my future hasn’t been sitting all that well with me. I’m someone who isn’t necessarily a fan of change, who quietly slips into a banal, everyday routine. I thought I was… okay with it.
I probably still am, but not in quite so extreme a scenario as the global pandemic forced onto all of us.
I’m at an age where my psyche is itching to go out and do stuff for a change. I never thought I’d be saying this but staying in front of my laptop all day consuming media isn’t as idyllic as it appears. Half the time I feel like I’m doing it simply to pass time instead of doing stuff. If I were living on my own I’d like to think I would’ve been spontaneous, picking up my phone, wallet and Kindle at the drop of a hat, curious to see anything apart from the walls of my room.
Alas, that isn’t the case, and that isn’t the crux of the post.
All life on our planet has traces of it in the stars. Can you really blame us, then, for feeling this inexplicable, all-encompassing bond with the cosmos?
It’s no secret that the stars have been intricately tied to humanity for thousands and thousands of years. Without their aid we probably wouldn’t have managed to explore our planet, meeting cultures both familiar and strange on the other side of the planet. Ideas, trade, people, none of this would’ve flowed across continents had we not realized how to find our place in the world with celestial observers to guide us. History would’ve been vastly different had we not felt the pull of the cosmos, me thinks.
Despite this, the way things are, this connection seems to be… severing, almost. It is immensely sad to think about. We’re moving away from the mystical to the mundane.
This is why I take every chance I get to forget about myself for a moment and simply gaze upwards.
The stars have always held an allure for me, this inexplicable force of attraction that forces me to simply be, engulfing myself in the vast uncertainty of the universe. I don’t really think about it, and I’m grateful for it. It’s a state that is becoming all too rare these days. These moments are a breath of fresh air, moments of clarity that strengthen my resolve and faith in myself when the world is going to absolute shit around me. Despite this, whenever I breathe in and look up I need to quieten this voice in my head that whispers almost insidiously - are you gonna gaze at stars all your life?
You know what, voice? I will.
Back to mundanity.
Right now, the way things are… days seem to blend in with each other. I feel stuck in life, inexorably experiencing the passage of time around me while nothing is changing in me. Seeing my peers achieve various milestones over social media doesn’t help.
I don’t think I’ve ever related to Pink Floyd’s Time more in my life.
Living in one of the most polluted places on Earth certainly doesn’t help in nurturing my passion with the stars. For God’s sake, I consider myself lucky to catch Jupiter on a clear sky, and it’s one of the brightest objects the naked eye can see in the night sky.
However, a few weeks back my family and I decided to visit my grandparents’, who live in a tier-2 city that is nowhere near as polluted as our home. The AQI here has dropped to single digits here. Single. Digits. Coming from a place that renders AQI meters useless, this is, pardon the pun, a breath of fresh air.
Clear air in a small-ish city that sleeps early is a recipe for gorgeous night sky viewing.
And oh boy am I glad I made the trip.
I’ve been grabbing every opportunity I can to go up to the rooftop, phone in hand, to capture what I can. This is a feast for the eyes, if you look hard enough. My days here are limited, and I don’t know when I’ll be visiting again. Needless to say, I aim to spend as much time with my grandparents as I can, while also looking up as soon as I get a hint of a clear sky.
These moments have become so much more powerful for me lately, bordering on obsession, even.
Seeing two shooting stars in two weeks has exemplified this all the more. Good god, imagine the odds. A visitor from another world, visiting us. Countless other worlds, and it chooses to visit us. Countless other moments, and I get to see them when I’m in a position to.
Marvelous.
The cosmos represents wonder. It represents uncertainty just BEGGING to be explored. More than that, for me, the cosmos embodies everything there is, and there ever will be.
It is a powerful antidote to my moods these days, when I am stuck in monotony. Each time I look up the sky is different. Other constellations make themselves visible, constellations I couldn’t have imagined seeing. Back home I only saw Orion, and Ursa Major on rare occassions. Here, I’ve managed to see Hercules, Draco, Sagittarius, Pegasus, Perseus, Cygnus, Aquila. So many others.
I’ve been gazing up more and more, because the stars show me that the world isn’t mundane. The world doesn’t even matter.
Out there, worlds are being made everyday. Worlds are ending every day.
Someone out there is pointing fingers at our Sun, perhaps using it to navigate their world, much like we did ours. Maybe they make wishes on our star. Who knows?
The possibilities are endless, and that is so important to keep in mind because it serves as a reminder that not all is mundane.
Not all is bleak.
Keep looking up.
Side note: Netflix’s Castlevania is an incredible experience. Masterclass in voice acting with phenomenal fight choreography I’ve seen in years. Rivals the best fights I’ve seen in Shonen anime. Check it out!
